Gee now that I got this thing started I don't really know what to say. Eh I guess I'll just rant about why I'm still awake stressing at quarter to one. Have my follow up appointment with Dr. Glynn, my Neurologist tomorrow, well I guess today. Still didn't get the tudiecho or however its spelled. Wondering what he's got to say about the ten vials of blood they took and the MRI. Pretty sure he's going to be pissed I'm still smoking but I'm trying! He thinks I'm at high risk for stroke. Oh goody. Its like I don't wanna hear that there is something wrong but since I know something is going on I wanna know exactly what it is. And now I'm flipping out over moms potassium being so low but I guess its one day at a time. I am relieved that my check wasn't as low as I thought it would be. Still can't pay the full rent but at least I can give him some. He's been great working with me. I gotta figure something out. Not being able to pay my rent let alone have any money left over is ridiculous. Trying to figure out if I can financially and physically work full time, get insurance through work and keep James and I on our medications and James being able to go to school. Which reminds me I need to get whole of child find and get his kindergarten stuffs started. Wow. I guess I never figured writing all this out would make me feel better. I remember now why I used to write poetry. Although I never could keep a diary. I always thought it should make sense, but it feels good to just type as the thoughts come to mind. Though maybe if I reread it I'll go insane trying to make it make sense. LOL. Maybe I wont ever read my blogs. That way they can't be tampered with. Pure, untamed thoughts. Yea...
